Friday, November 10, 2006

I wnt 2 dvorc u

Welcome to all the fans of K-Fed looking for more info on the Brittany/K-fed break up....All three of you.

Seriously...They were giving away tickets to Kevin Federline's concerts. His tour was cut short because of lack of interest.

Next stop for K-Fed? I see a future of bad reality show guest appearances, where that little midget guy from the Austin Powers Movies, pees on K-Fed'd head.

As we head into the second half of the Blue Hippo Fantasy Football Season, it's pretty much a toss up as to who will win this year...Except for Thong Song. Sorry Dave, even the Detroit Lions are better than you.

Prediction this week? Ronnie Rayguns are going down in flames. Just like the Republicans. (Ouch)

Someone spotted Mike walking around in circles on Wednesday mumbling something about .."Haggard wasn't even running!"


Fill in the Blank

Joe is taking (Person) out to (Noun) (Time of Day). Might we suggest (VERB) in the (Location). Try the (noun) either spicy or (Adjective). Hopefully the (Losing Detroit Professional Football Team) will (Verb).

Today is the 37th anniversary of Sesame Street. Its pretty sad when you are the same age as Sesame Street. The characters have changed a bit since I watched the show.

Bob hasn't aged much.

As a child, didn't you think that Bob the epitome of "nice guy neighbor/uncle"? Now, he looks like one of the guys picked up for soliciting minors on the internet. Speaking of which, there was a COO or CEO that was arrested for soliciting a 5 year old on the internet.

The chief executive of a small Warren-based credit union faces sex and drug charges after Macomb County sheriff's deputies arrested him for allegedly trying to arrange sex with a 5-year-old girl.


I think Bob actually looks like a gay Owen Wilson.


This Briton is one...Cheeky Bastard:

LONDON - A 22-year-old man suffered internal injuries after lighting a small firecracker he had inserted into his buttocks, paramedics said Thursday.
The incident took place Sunday, when Britain celebrated Bonfire Night, traditionally marked with fireworks to celebrate the Guy Fawkes gunpowder plot to blow up Parliament in the 17th century.

The man suffered burns and other unspecified internal injuries in the incident in Sunderland, 275 miles north of London.

Finally...Our Kessler's Moment.

Tomorrow is Veterans Day. Here's to our Veterans:

Hal -- Veteran of the War in the Gulf(of Mexico) and the Lost Battle for the Threeway.

Mark -- Veteran (still Active) of the War of the "Honestly Jean, I don't just go to West Pointe to drink with the guys. We go to Strip clubs too!"

Alex -- Veteran of the War on Receding Hairlines (He lost this one, but took it as a Man.)

Joe M. -- Veteran of an actual War.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Tale of Two Assholes

Welcome to serfers looking for information on Michigan Gubernatorial Candidates Granholm and DeVos.

Sorry, but I am talking about a Chick with two assholes.

No...not Ann Coulter. I said "Chick".

Forzie the four-legged chicken will cluck no more.

The Te Uku-bred Barnevelder chick - hatched at Marlene Dickey's property at the start of last month - has died.

But it wasn't the extra legs that led to its death, more likely an extra anus, Mrs Dickey believes.
"He developed two bottoms and I think he got glugged up," she said.

While she was surprised by Forzie's death - he weighed a "good pound of butter" and was gaining feathers slowly - it was not totally unexpected, she said.
And it was fun while it lasted.

"He was a bit of a laugh."

Looking ungainly on its extra legs but twice as cute, the bird was an exception to the rule that chickens with defects are not normally born alive.

He was found dead on Friday and is now in the Dickeys' freezer waiting to be stuffed.

I Googled "Two Anus Chick", and along with a picture of Ron Mexico, I got this instead:

Gives another meaning to one of our regular features, "The Other Cheek".

Meanwhile, rumors have been flying that the League's only Canadian Franchise may be relocating to the hills of Kentucky. (Someone cue the music from Deliverance) When asked about the potential move, the Hairy Canuck said that he was looking into outsourcing his team to the Billy Bob's Hot Sister/Wife League. Wahwee WeeWah!


The results between the big match up. Yes...I'm talking about Poker Dawgs and the Ronnie Rayguns. Will this be a preview of this year's Blue Hippo Super Bowl?

Till early and often.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Vote No on Proposal 3

Welcome all the anti-hunters that support Michigan's Ban on Dove Hunting. So you are going to Vote No on Proposal 3.


I think that in two years we should petition for a proposal that will allow us to vote to BAN fishing for Brook Trout, Perch and Bluegill.

These fish are not over populated.

There is not sufficient food on one fish for a meal.

Every summer, fishermen catch these small fish and sometimes they swallow the hook. The fish are thrown back into the water and later die.

There is evidence that Catch and Release kills more fish than it saves.

People like to stand on their docks and look at these fish swimming freely in the water. Therefore we should not catch them.

Sometimes hooks fall into the water and rust. Do you REALLY want to go swimming where you could get a rusty hook caught in your foot?

Perch are used to catch bigger fish. Imagine the pain these fish go through.

There are numerous larger fish you can fish for, why catch these small cute species? Nowhere in this proposal are we talking about hunting or other types of fishing.

Fishing is supported by BIG OUTDOORS like out of state companies like Cabelas, Gander Mountain and Bass Pro. None of these stores have their home office in Michigan.

If you vote NO on Proposal 3, then you will HAVE TO VOTE YES to ban these types of fishing when it comes around.

Democrats Is So Stupid

Welcome to Republican Mike, who made the above phrase famous.

Just so our friends in Charlestown can get all the Jokes, I'm posting the picture that Ben was referencing. Also...its just Damn Funny. Nice October Surprise Kerry, you twat.

This is the best the Democrats can do? Yeah it was just a flubbed joke, but holy Hamburgers, this is exactly why the Democratic party is such a mess. Him and Cindy Sheehan.
I'd rather vote for Borat.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

A Quickie

Welcome to all web serfers looking for info on Viagra. And if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours, I suggest you don't have sex before heading off to work.

Quick joke.

One day, Justin came came home and was greeted by his wife Jayne dressed in a very sexy nightie.

"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So Justin tied her up and went fishing.

I'll be here all night. Try the Veal, its very good and please remember to tip your waitress.