Thursday, May 22, 2008

Monty Python in Legoland

Its Thursday and I should be getting out of ICU today. Hopefully. If all goes according to plan, they will move me to what they call the Cardiac Step Down unit. I may or may not still have a few tubes hooked up to my chest, neck and arm. (We won't mention the catheter)

Meanwhile, here are two more Lego movie shorts that I found on YouTube. I just can seem to get enough of these right now.

Here are two scenes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

First: The French Taunter

Next up: The Camelot Scene. This one looks more professionally done than the others, but its still funny. If you get a chance, check out some of the others on YouTube.

That is all for now. I should be home Saturday but will probably not post anything till Monday. Till then....

Monday, May 12, 2008

Cake or Death

No, my surgery wasn't postponed. I have gone the way of Neo and made my way into the Internet. Its keeping me busy while my surgeon is busy mending my heart.

Since I probably won't be laughing much today, I thought I'd at least make you chuckle. Besides, getting open heart surgery is no excuse for not posting on the HA.

Here is another hilarious Eddie Izzard routine, illustrated through the magic of Legos. Courtesy of Thorn2200.


Sunday, May 11, 2008

Popping the Steelhead Cherry

Final Installment of the Spring Fishing Trip

Written by Joe

Fishing for Steelhead Trout is a lot like sex. For some, it comes naturally, in no time at all you are out in the wilderness, waist deep in a wet river, maneuvering your rod with such skill that with the faintest flick of the tip you gently drift your fly into a hidden honey hole resulting in a heart pounding give and take tango with a glistening hen (aka female steelhead)

And then there is the rest of us who after multiple years of futile attempts find themselves paying for it… and let me tell you, it was worth every penny.

Most of the morning was spent learning from our guide. First we focused on how to handle our rods our reels our line and our flies. Next we learned the secrets of finding the fish and how to approach the hole. Finally after honing our techniques it happens… FISH ON!!!

It was a text book cast played to perfection. Justin drew his nine foot rod back and thrust it forward shooting his line across the mighty Pere Marquete. Dit… Dit… Dit… the sinker bounced of the rocky bottom. Dit… Dit… Dit… the current carried the fly toward the hole. Dit... Dit….. tug?



FISH ON and all was quiet

What do you mean FISH ON? We never FISH ON? How do we FISH ON? AHHH WHAT DO I DO Justin calls out to our guide.

With all the calm of someone who as caught as many fish as we’ve drank beers our Guide swings into action.

Tip up Justin, keep the tip up.

Let it RUN… Let it RUN… Give it some line…

Ok, good Justin, when you get a chance start to reel.

Justin standing tall and proud in the river mastering his rod maneuvering the… the… the… what? What exactly did Justin have at the end of his line?

SPLASH, with a sudden thrust a massive steelhead trout launches itself from the shallow river bed high into the cool spring air.

SPLASH again the monster steelhead breaches shaking its massive head left and right trying to spit the fly which snared him.

SPLASH… DIVE… RUN the steelhead speeds down river


Again with the calm of a master angler our guide nets the fated beast.

Finally after several years of failed attempts, Justin breaks our collective cherry.

Smiling from ear to ear Justin gently grips the monster and raises it from the net holding it high and proud like Yzerman hoisting the holly grail of all sports trophies.

Stage left enter a conflicted fisherman… how could it be? I was the one who was supposed to catch the first steelhead ever. Why Justin? Why not me? A half jealous half proud Joe congratulates Justin on his triumphant catch.

Slowly lowering the mighty catch into the water holding its head upstream allowing the gentle current to pass oxygen through its gills Justin nurtures the trout back from the brink of exhaustion and lets it swim gently away.

We all catch our breath and get back at it. You see the secret of fly fishing for steelhead our guide explains is this… First, as long as you don’t catch the hen, there will always be males around to catch. Second, you never leave fish to find more fish.

So our anglers continue… FISH ON… Again? Twice in a row? How can it be?

Justin begins to reel in fish number two. This time though there is no fight, there is no splashing, Justin reels in a baby brown trout. Our anglers all laugh thinking we’ve seen bait bigger than this little fella. But still, a catch is a catch and that makes it Justin 2, Joe donut. Sorry we can’t tell you about Don just yet, he was fishing another hole.

Our anglers celebrate the recent catch with some fantastic habanera sausage and a cold India Pal Ale (a delicious beer the Canadian brought from the great North)

Another hour goes by and our dynamic duo continue to thrust their rods at the hole hoping to get lucky…

Dit Dit Dit tug…



Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzing line rips off the reel like it were attached to a freight train.

Farther and farther down the river the steelhead swims.

Jump splash not once not twice but five times we see the steelhead break the river’s surface trying to spit the fly.

Tip Up… Rod toward the shore… Reel Reel Reel… run run run Reel Reel Reel wow we have a fighter. This guy isn’t giving up any time soon.

Now I’ve caught huge pike, bad ass walleye, a couple sheep head hogs and a fat belly bass or two in my day, but never has a fish fought for its freedom as much as this guy.

Minute after minute the fish battles to escape until finally after a quarter of an hour he finally subsides

Scoop, way down stream our guide nets Joe’s first steelhead.

This guy was a few inches smaller in length and girth than Justin’s monster (insert that’s what she said joke here) but he was newer to the river. Our guide again emparts some knowledge on our young anglers (note our guide was several years younger than us however in fishing years he was like 740)

You see, Gabe explain, the longer a fish is in the river the darker his color will be and the redder his fins and cheeks will become. Also, the longer they are in the river the less energy they have to fight due to the constant effort they endure to swim the mighty currents.

So, apparently I caught a rookie. And man was he fun to catch.

Justin 1 Steely 1 Brown, Joe 1 Steely, Don we just don’t know

Our anglers celebrate the recent catch with some fantastic habanera sausage and a cold India Pal Ale (a delicious beer the Canadian brought from the great North)

Lunch time… our guide fires up the grill while our anglers continue to perfect their technique.

The delicious smell of grilled marinated chicken fills the air and the faint sizzle and pop of the grill can be heard over the rushing current. Gabe begins to set up for lunch

Dit Dit Dit… tug? FISH ON.

Again Justin hooks into a monster steelhead. With the chicken grilling in the back ground our
guide and Justin muscle in another monster fish. Almost as big as the first one. Time for a picture, Justin puts his rod between his teeth and bites down holding the nine footer in place while he and his fellow angler pose for another memory. Another beautiful steelhead catch captured in time.

Fishing makes one kind of hungry, especially at the rate we were nailing them. A brief pause for lunch. And it is scrumptious. Another India Pale Ale another chunk of spicy sausage and its back at it.

Having a few miles of river yet ahead of us our anglers have to leave theses fish to find more fish closer to base camp.

Masterfully Gabe manuvers our boat down stream dodging fallen tree, raging rapids and the occasional fisherman fishing a hopeless spot lacking of gravel and shade. Gabe laughs at them as he passes by explaining the intricacies of finding a good fishing hole. And it becomes clear as day to our anglers, YOU CAN’T CATCH FISH BEHIND THE TROUT POST. Its just not a good spot.

We are nearing the end of our 8 hour float each of us having caught three fish each when out of the corner of his eye Gabe spies a pot of gold… swimming in place behind some rocks in the shadow of a tall pine tree are a school of steelies.

Quickly ditching the boat into the shore and dropping the anchor our anglers leap into the river

WOA! The river is DEEP here and the current is FAST… Gabe looks us in the eyes and asks, can you handle the river here, with trepidation we go all in.

First cast dit dit dit TUG zing… another monster tears down stream ripping line out of Joe’s reel. Jump splash dive


For the first time all day our anglers fail to land their prey.

Second Cast, this time it’s Justin

Dit dit dit… tug zing!

Again a monster plows down stream right into the net of our guide.

3 Steelhead 1 Brown for Justin 1 Steelhead 2 Trout for Joe

Dit dit dit… tug zing snap Justin loses the second fish of the day.

Dit dit dit tug zing… FISH ON… Joe catches his second steelie of the day.

Arms aching, spirits high, our anglers muscle up to cast again when on the horizon we see our good friend the professor.

Excited to hear of Don’s success and to share stories of Justin and Joe’s fantastic day our trio unite.

Sigh… none? Zero? No steelhead? How can that be? Justin and Joe caught five steelies and three trout. How can it be that Don had yet to land a treasured prize.

This can not be, it will not be, Joe gives up his spot to his good pal Don and climbs the bank to watch in hope that the professor will school a monster.

What kind of line do you have on this reel our guide asks Don’s guide? Our guide shakes his head at the answer.

What kind of set up do you have on this rod our guide asks Don’s guide? Our guide shakes his head at the answer.

Realizing Don has inferior tools Gabe stands tall beside him in the river coaching him up on technique directing Don toward the fish.

Cast, drift, dit dit dit tug?


Tug ?


ZING with more speed and force this fish storm down the river like none before it.

Hard left it turns into some rocks shaking the line under water trying to free itself. Hard right under the boat it swims hoping to rip the line on the sharp edge of the hull. Zing down the river and around the bend the fish swims tearing the line off the reel getting down to the very end.

Standing tall in the river, arms aching, heart pounding Don stands alone as the guides run through the water up stream and out of site to hopefully net this fighter of all fighters.

Tight the line bends Don’s rod nearly dragging his boots along the rocky river bottom then nothing, not tug, line limp, rod straight in Don’s hand… silence…

Then from around the bend our anglers hear a loud cheer. Gabe had netted the beast just as it spit the fly nearly freeing itself from being caught.

Thrashing in the water our guide walks upstream smiling from ear to ear. Don had caught the hen.

A beautiful silver female steelhead. The most striking fish caught all day.
Just over eight hours into our trip, sun beginning to set, our day had ended.

As Don coached the hen back to health letting her swim down stream so went the males that filled our lucky spot.

Justin 3 Steelhead 1 Brown, Joe 2 Steelhead 2 Rainbow, Don 1 amazing female steelhead.

Editor's Note: When I first heard that I was not able to go on the Spring Fishing trip, I was sorely upset. After all these years of not catching fish on the Pere Marquette, I just knew that this was going to be the trip. I thought I would be bitter and jealous.
But after reading these reports and when I first saw the photos of Joe, Justin and Don catching what may well be the most spectacular fish we've ever caught on our Fishing Trips, I was not jealous, I was extremely happy. That's what these fishing trips are all about. I wasn't there with them personally, but I was there in spirit.
There is always the next trip to personally catch fish...So, where are we going in October???
This week while I am in the Hospital, I've left a few posts for you to read. Tune in after today. Enjoy.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Jeff Vader

This is frakkin hilarious.

Darth Vader at the Death Star Cafeteria

YouTube User Thorn2200 created these to comedian Eddie Izzard's stand up routine.

Simply Genius!

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Mayor Tootsie, Versed and McCain/Clinton?

Could This Happen?

Right now there is no way that Hillary Clinton will catch up to Barak Obama in delegate counts. It would probably take ALL of the Super Delegates to go for Hillary for her to win the Democrat Nomination.

Rumor has it, Michigan and Florida are considering giving Hillary 55% of their delegates and Obama 45% just to get them seated at the convention. Not enough to put Clinton over the top.

John McCain has made it no secret his desire to play peace maker, trying to bridge the gap between Democrats and Republicans. Some even thought he might leave the Republican Party a few years back to become a Democrat.

Consider this: Is a McCain/Clinton ticket possible? Could Hillary pledge her supporters to McCain and run on a “Unity Ticket”? How bad do the Clintons want back into the White House?

Versed: Preferred by 9 out of 10 Death Row Inmates

Last week I had my catheterization. The procedure wasn’t that bad, it lasted all of one hour and I was pretty doped up on Versed all the time. I spent six hours on my back watching re-runs of Different Strokes. One was the episode where Arnold and his friend get taken advantage of by Mr. Carlson from WKRP in Cincinnati, who plays a perverted white man with a camera. Why this two part episode didn’t garner an Emmy nomination, I’ll never know.

For every hour you have anesthesia in your system, it takes almost a week for it to leave. Saturday, all I did was eat and pass out. Now I’ve been limping all week because the swelling in my thigh went down and I am sore and bruised. It should be completely healed by the time I go back into the hospital for some more pain.

Then I find out this little tidbit about Versed:

Versed is offered to death row inmates before execution in the
United States, according to the film The Missouri Protocol (1990). A Missouri prison doctor interviewed in the film said virtually no prisoners turned down the drug when it was offered a few hours prior to execution.

Had I known, I would have demanded a “Last Supper” of my grandmother’s meatloaf, mashed potatoes and corn.

The countdown for me has started. Monday is coming up pretty fast. I’m hoping I get the “employee dosage” next week when I finally go in for my OHS. I don’t want to even remember that I had a breathing tube in. That’s what is bothering me the most: Waking up to find myself on a ventilator, helping me to breathe.

There were two things I told Kelly, 1) keep giving me the pain drugs and 2) get the damn breathing tube out of me as soon as possible.

Three full days left.

Mayor Tootsie

Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is denying that this is him dressed up as a woman for a school play:

(Hint: He's the one in the red dress). Team Kilpatrick is vehemently denying it. Detroit Ministry of Truth Director Denise Tolliver even went so far as to threaten to sue the New York newspaper that printed the story. Several of Mayor Tootsie’s classmates confirm that it was him in the play. What’s the big deal? It's not like we all haven’t dressed up in women’s clothing once in our lives. I’ve done it twice (that I know or admit to). The top two funniest comedies of the 20th Century (Some Like it Hot and Tootsie) both have men dressed as women. Monty Python. Kids in the Hall. ‘Nuff Said.

But I guess that would just ruin his image as the Hip Hop Mayor and destroy his street cred. Kilpatrick is so full of himself that he unless he controls the flow of information (or propaganda) he gets upset. Busted is what you see, Kwame.

His “Minister of Truth” Denise Tolliver isn’t doing a very good job of “keeping it real” in the media. Tolliver failed in her propaganda role to stop a national show from mocking King Kwame.
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart ripped Kwame the other evening in their broadcast on Comedy Central. Watch this clip below. Its 7 minutes long, but well worth your time.

Ah Kwame…I guess we ARE all out to get you, with good reason. Now that the National Media is openly mocking the Sex Text Mayor, when will we see the Detroit Corporate Community finally step up and demand that Kilpatrick step down? Why won’t Roger Penske, Mike Ilitch of Little Caesars, Tony Earley of DTE, Peter Karmanos of Compuware or David Brandon of Detroit Renaissance, (just to name a few) do the right thing. What are they afraid of?

Kwame won’t step down till Team Kilpatrick is finished looting the city of Detroit. He still has 20 months till election time to compete the job. Unless the citizens of Detroit succeed in recalling him or the Business Community starts acting like LEADERS, Team Kilpatrick will continue to steal from the hard working taxpayers of Detroit to fill the gold lined pockets of his cronies.

Tomorrow: The final installment of the Spring Fishing Trip where we actually get to see pictures of Fish.

Coming Soon: Scott goes “off the grid” for a while.

Monday, May 05, 2008

The Sound of Distant Thunder

No one needed the alarm to wake them up… in fact, collectively our three fishermen shared just a few scant hours of sleep between them. Who could sleep… just knowing the impending sunrise would mark the beginning of our journey up the Pere Marquette river to catch the elusive Steelhead Trout was enough to keep even the most sleepy of our fishermen wide awake.

Beep Beep Beep the unnecessary alarm rang out announcing to everyone in the cabin that it was time to catch trophy fish.

Beep Beep Beep the unnecessary alarm rang out again reminding everyone of our brethren who could not make the trip.

Beep Bee…… silence, in the quiet of the cabin we hear the Canadian ask “pull my finger”

So, with a small thunder the adventure begins.

Fun FACT #1 Pull My Finger is a joke or prank regarding flatulence
in which a
mark is asked to pull the finger of the illusionist (or person
playing the joke), who simultaneously flatulates so as to suggest a
between the pulling of the finger and the subsequent expulsion
of gas. References in popular culture tend to treat "pull my finger" as a
meme, saying the line but not showing the result, apparently on the assumption that the result is well known.>

Our trio race out the door guzzling coffee, chomping Pop-Tarts and dodging deer as we reach outrageous speeds negotiating the twists, turns and dips of the two track road to civilization.

There it is, up on the right. We see two guides, two monster trucks (one Chevy one F150) and two boats parked in front of the PM Lodge. It’s a beautiful site.

Clint and Gabe are the guides. Not what we expected, to say the least. Clint a dead look alike to Ned Flanders until he takes off his hat revealing a more Homer Simpson like bald melon and Gabe, the 23 year old anti-corporate America, fish-or-die-youngster greet us in the parking lot.

Fun FACT #2: (From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) Gabe was born on March 31, 1994. he is currently in 8th grade going on 9th. He has many friends including Ashley M., Salina C., and Jordan R. He is Tall, Funny, and Smart.
hello. this is ashley speaking now. Gabe is the raw deal. i freaking love him. =] ♥♥
Retrieved from ""

Justin refuses to ride in a Chevy when there is beefy Ford to style in, so he, the Professor and Clint take off to the boat launch. Joe rides off with Gabe.

On the journey to the launch we learn a little more about the trek we are about to endure. First the bad news, due to the nature of stream fishing, it is difficult to keep two boats together floating down the river at the same time. A) the current is just too difficult to manage and B) there just isn’t enough room for two boats to fish the same fishing hole. So or trio must divide in order to concur.

One… Two… Three… NOT IT… Justin and Joe team up with Gabe and Don heads off on his own with Clint.

Just getting in the boat was an adventure. Justin in front, Joe in the back and Gabe in the middle.

45 minutes into our float down the river we catch up with Don and Gabe. Don already waist deep in the cool river, rod in hand, guide by his side casting into our first fishing hole. It was like a Norman Rockwell photo.

Justin, Joe and Gabe settle in a hundred yards down stream and the fishing begins…

Well, not exactly. The fishing didn’t really take place until multiple attempts to teach Justin the following technique.

Roll cast, flick, mend, mend, drift set the hook….

Ok, your turn Justin… roll cast, flick…
Ok, try again, Justin… roll cast, flick, mend…
Ok, try again Justin… roll cast, flick, mend (so close this time) mend…
Ok, try again Justin… roll cast…
Ok Justin, lets try something else…

So another 45 minutes passes as Gabe tries to get Justin set up all the while Don is fishing just a short way up stream catching a nice trout and Joe sits miserably watching EVERYONE ELSE get to fish. Really not a good start for Joe… nonetheless he is patient…
Justin tries a new technique: rip some line, hold it with your left hand swing your rod around and cast across the river, drift, drift, drift set the hook. Got it?

Good, your turn… Rip some line, hold, swing the rod… snag

Ok, Try again Justin… Rip some line, hold, swing the rod, cast… snag…
Ok, Try again Justin… Rip some line, hold, swing the rod, cast, drift drift drift… no fish but FINALLY we have made fishing!!!

After another 45 minutes of teaching Justin how to cast, Gabe points the bow of the little boat down stream to seek out a spot where our brave fishermen would break their collective Steelhead cherries.

Coming Soon: After Four Trips, Two Fly Rods and Copious Amounts of Kesslers, the Guys Finally Catch a Fish.

But Next Time... Versed: The White Man's Crack.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

A City Full of Idiots

That’s not my opinion, that’s the opinion of Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick’s sister, Ayanna Kilpatrick. In a message sent after one of Kilpatrick's cronies lost a special City Council election and bond proposals the mayor supported were defeated, Ayanna texted Christine Beatty on April 29, 2003:

"Long road ahead of us! How do you educate voters in a city full of idiots ...?!"

This is exactly how Team Kilpatrick views the taxpaying citizens and workers in the City of Detroit. To them, you are all just idiots with open wallets; an endless supply of money to fill the gold-lined pockets of Kwame Kilpatrick's family and cronies.

Ayanna headed up the Next Vision Foundation, a charity Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick's family established to help city students. The Charity spent more than half of its money on salaries for three employees: the mayor's sister, his wife Carlita and the wife of one of Kilpatrick's best friends.

More than $395,000 of the $717,000 the foundation raised in 2002 and 2003 from other charities, local businesses, casinos and city contractors was paid to Ayanna Kilpatrick, the mayor's sister, first lady Carlita Kilpatrick and Lisa Cylar Miller.Tax records and interviews show that:

  • Ayanna Kilpatrick was paid a $100,966 salary last year, 14 percent more than she received in 2002.
  • Carlita Kilpatrick, who had a part-time job doing marketing and event planning, received $22,666 for less than a full year's work in 2003. In 2002, she received $44,231 for her part-time position.

Want more proof?

WXYZ aired a Steve Wilson story revealing that Kilpatrick, his family and a babysitter vacationed at an exclusive southern California spa a couple of years back, with the Kilpatrick Civic Fund, another nonprofit charity founded by the mayor, paying the lion's share of a $10,000 hotel tab. Officials at the fund — which is run by Kilpatrick's sister, Ayanna Kilpatrick, and has Christine Beatty, the mayor's chief of staff, as its treasurer — claimed the mayor was out West trying to raise money for the charity.

City Council is no Better

Watch this YouTube video of a young Detroit Student taking Monica "Do it Baby" Conyers to task for her "Shrek" moment.

So no, Ayanna Kilpatrick, not ALL Detroiters are idiots; just the ones who are members of Team Kilpatrick.

Heart Update: Tomorrow I am going in for a Cardiac Catheterization. Cardiac catheterization is usually performed to evaluate heart valves, heart function and blood supply.

I will be semi- awake and able to follow instructions during the catheterization. A mild sedative is usually given 30 minutes before the procedure to help you relax. The actual procedure may last about an hour, but afterwards, I will be laying on my back for about 5 hours.

After the test, the catheter is removed. Since the IV is placed in my groin, I will need to lie flat on my back for a few hours after the test to avoid bleeding. This may cause some mild back discomfort since this may take up to 5 or 6 hours.

No Driving or Drinking for 48 hours. Next stop: Open heart surgery on the 12th.

I’m hoping to get the last update from the Men’s Fishing Trip from Joe soon. Then I will post some pictures.